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Editorial: Taking The Silence Back
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09-Dec-2008
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Our society has made considerable advances over the course of the past century. We have split the atom, explored the stars, and too many accomplishments to list here. Despite all of these accomplishments, some very important parts of our society have seemingly fallen through the proverbial 'cracks'. One such societal aspect, which is part of the very underlying foundation of modern society, is respect.
Given the environmental reality of fluorocarbons, as well as the very real rate of out-of-control oil prices [NOTE: although gasoline prices have dropped significantly and artificially during the last two months of this past election season, come on, you know they're going back up], mass-transit is a very necessary part of the modern business life; particularly when traversing long distances. I recently had a somewhat 'interesting' ride on the Amtrak Philadelphia - D.C. Line; a line that, though the price was comparable with what the gas would have conversely been, saved me between two and three hours travel time (particularly so given the two rush hours I would have had to deal with had I driven).
As is typical for commuter trains, the seats were completely sold out (including the designated sleeper and business cars - which is relevant to today's story). I was seated next to a somewhat attractive, though seemingly involved, 'alternative' young woman; diagonally in front of me in the same aisle was a very attractive, but completely oblivious (really - this woman was dumb) blond Microsoft Word Bandit, diagonally in front of her, but in the other aisle, was a rather...'flamboyant', middle-aged gentleman who clearly had intended for some sleep, but was deprived a coveted seat in the sleeping car. These are the critical players in today's engagement.
As previously indicated, this was a completely booked train (so much so, that they had to use those fold down emergency seats reserved for crewers). The trip started off with the blond MWB talking on her cell phone; in such a way that instantly tells everyone around her that she is neither intelligent, nor important, and she absolutely wants everyone within a nuclear blast radius to hear everything she is saying. Apparently, blond MWB previously had a disagreement with her boss on the importance of meet-and-greets with potential clients (she works for some advertising/consulting firm - had she actually mentioned the firm's name, she could have at least passed the Mass-Ear-Raping off as word-of-mouth marketing). She felt that it was of the utmost importance to call everyone who knew her boss and inform them of this. This MER was non-stop for the first hour of the ride.
After the first hour had passed, the rather 'flamboyant' gentleman decided enough was enough. He stood up from his seat, went across the aisle to the blond MWB, politely asking her to stop using her phone. Blond MWB's response, pointed and with just the right mix of ignorance, aggression and self-importance, responded, ''Excuse me, but I have the right to use my phone, I paid for this ticket.'' To which 'flamboyant' gentleman, in a somewhat pleading tone, replied, ''You have to respect the people around you, some of us are trying to sleep.'' Blond MWB retorted, ''Then you can go back to the sleeping car, I paid for this seat and I have to speak with my business clients''. This of course was a lie; she was gossiping with co-workers, and it is worth mentioning that we were not in the business car either. 'Flamboyant' gentleman, somewhat frustrated but not defeated, replied, ''You have heard the conductor announce that the train is sold out, there are no seats available, I have a very long trip and need some sleep.'' Blond MWB snidely shot back, ''That's not my problem - I have Freedom of Speech, I have a right to talk on my phone.'' Which, of course, I think that this scenario was exactly what the Founding Fathers had envisioned when drafting the Bill of Rights.
At this point the story becomes interesting. 'Flamboyant' gentleman, still standing in the aisle/row of blond MWB, took the offensive. ''Fine, if you won't stop talking, I'll start singing the star spangled banner.'' And he did...out of tune, and lacking most of the correct words, but still crusading for the rest of us who were far too cowardly to say anything. In step with the escalation, blond MWB called in for reinforcements...sort of. ''You can't harass me, I'm calling the conductor!'' Blond MWB proceeded to press the overhead light button repeatedly; surprisingly in sync with the words of the anthem. Not to be out done, 'flamboyant' gentleman enlisted a troop surge of his own. (To the other surrounding passengers,) ''If you agree with me, join in, everybody!'' One gentleman did - he didn't seem to know the words or tune any better. This impromptu national anthem/light show continued for a few minutes, until 'flamboyant' gentleman conceded defeat, pulled out, and retreated to his seat. Blond MWB clearly had been humbled by the experience, as, though she would not admit fault, she did proceed to call all of her friends back, triumphantly retelling her...skewed version of the tale, but in a noticeably quieter tone.
It seemed as though the armistice would last, but sadly, blond MWB insisted on a war crimes trial and conviction. After about forty-five minutes of waiting for a conductor to magically appear from her light show display, one actually did. ''Excuse me, that man has been harassing me!'' blond MWB said, beating a dead horse. The conductor, not wanting to really make a scene over an obviously calm and collected 'flamboyant' gentleman, asked, ''Ma'am, was he harassing you, or annoying you?'' To which blond MWB self-asserted, ''I was talking on my cell phone to my business clients, which I have to do for my job, and he sang the star spangled banner so loud [her incorrect grammar, not mine] that I couldn't hear the person on the phone.'' Clearly not wanting to deal with this issue, but wanting less to be bothered by blond MWB, he approached the now seemingly asleep belligerent and said, ''Sir, were you harassing this woman?'' To which 'flamboyant' gentleman replied, ''I simply asked the woman to stop using her cell phone so loudly out of respect for the passengers around her.'' Apathetic conductor responded, ''Sir, she has every right to use her cell phone. You can't harass someone for talking in the non-sleeping car.'' 'Flamboyant' gentleman replied, ''I have as much right to sing the star spangled banner as she does to speak on her cell phone.'' Frustrated and apathetic conductor shot back with, ''Sir, you can go to the sleeping car then.'' 'Flamboyant' gentleman retorted, ''This is a sold out train, that means there are no seats.'' To which affable, frustrated and apathetic conductor ended with, ''Then go between cars and wait for a seat, it will be quiet there.'' ...Stunned silence deafened the ears of all nearby passengers. With as much pride as one could muster given the completely resounding defeat, 'flamboyant' gentleman gathered his belongings and departed, head held high. In what would have surely won a local Tony award for any fourth grade stage production, dim-witted, affable, frustrated and apathetic conductor, in his unintentional impersonation of some western sheriff, smiled and said to blond MWB, ''I don't think you will be hearing from him anymore, ma'am; if there's anything, else just let me know.''
Like everyone else in the blast radius, I was cowardly-speechless. I managed to have a little text session with the attractive, but seemingly taken, girl next to me – who smiled in full agreement with me in regard to blond MWB, but that was the extent of my 'speaking up' – until now. I should have spoken up then. So should have everyone else. The blond MWB should have had more respect; the conductor should have...been in his right head, and everyone's parents should have done a much better job. The simple fact is, people, despite having the ability to communicate almost anywhere on the planet, does not mean you have the right to impose your 'technical freedom' onto someone else; that is technical tyranny.
In summation; keep the laptop, watch your movies with the headphones on, keep the texting, but lose the voice, and give a little respect to those of us around you. Oh, and learn the correct words and tune to the national anthem, I mean, seriously... |
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